Right from the beginning, and in both the Holy Quran and the Prophet’s actions and sayings, Islam has given the mother a status higher than the father, as to loving or treating her with love and kindness. For mothers suffer a lot before the child is born.

Moreover, if she is sick before getting pregnant, she tends to get worse during pregnancy. Then her life will be threatened when she gives birth. She also has to nurse and take care of the child, which restricts her freedom of movement.

That is why Allah talked about the suffering of the mother which is not shared by the father: “And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months” {46:15} .On the other hand, the father has a duty in providing for his children and in raising and educating them.

That is why Allah equated between them when it comes to treating them kindly… Allah repeated the word “parents” several times in the Holy Quran: And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word, while preserving precedence for the mother since she is the one who has suffers more.

This is why the Messenger (p.) said: “Heaven is under the feet of mothers”. Meaning that Heaven is the reward of her endurance and patience… Certain traditions have it that if the mother dies while giving birth she is considered a martyr.

Imam Zein Al-Abidein says: “It is also said that once a man came to the Messenger (p.) and asked: “I feed my parents, carry them on my back and clean them, have I fulfilled my duty towards them? The Prophet (p.) answered: No, because, you are serving them in anticipation for their death while they served you wishing you a long life”.

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) said that the Prophet (p.) was asked once by a Muslim: Whom should I be kind to?” The Prophet said your mother. He repeated it three times, and he then said your father.

A man called Ibrahim bin Mohazzam narrated the following story: I once quarreled with my mother and I was cruel to her. The following day Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) said to me: How could you that? Don’t you know that her womb is a house that you had lived in… and that her breast is a bowl that you drank from? Do not do that again.

The Quran prohibited any harm to the parents even if by words, but lower to them the wing of humility " And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood". This kind of humility, does not lower man but elevates him, since it is out of kindness.

A man came to Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) saying that he has embraced Islam while his mother did not, and asked him about what he should do.

The Imam said: “See how you used to take care of her when you and her were embracing the same religion and multiply it”.

When he did so, the mother noticed and asked him why. He told her: “I was ordered to do so by the leader of this religion”. The mother asked: “Is he a prophet?”; “No he is a son of the prophet” the man answered. The women ended up in adopting such a religion whose morals are that high and spiritual.

Thus, the issue of motherhood is very fundamental in the Islamic view of the family. What we have said so far about it implies two responsibilities: the responsibility of children towards their parents and that of the husband. The problem with some husbands is that they under-appreciate motherhood... But they would act as thugs, threatening all the time to divorce women.

The second point: man has to be very careful when he chooses a mother for his children.

He has to choose a woman who is well educated and well raised.

Beauty and money will not last. Moreover you do not live with a check book or a painting... You live with a spiritual and social companion. That is why the prophet advised us to marry those who are pious in their religion.

Then when a man chooses a wife he has to appreciate all the efforts she makes in bringing up the children. Women too have to appreciate man’s struggle to provide for the family… Thus, theirs is a relationship of complementing one another. And if both husband and wife are good to one another and to their children, Allah, the most Exalted, will bring them together in paradise as He has promised in the Quran.